Sugar Shackin'

Wendy and I decided to take in a little more of the Caribou Carnival today for we yearned to experience more of its delights and distractions - more specifically, we were going to The Sugar Shack. The Sugar Shack is a magical place in which, through the combined marvels of fire and snow, one can enjoy the sheer slurpy pleasure of frosty maple syrup on a stick.

1. First you must purchase a flat wooden green "alright kid, say ahhhh" stick for $3 that you may, nay MUST, use as many times as humanly possible in roughly an 8-hour period.
2. You will now wait as fresh snow is scooped up and lovingly patted and smoothed into a trough in front of you.
3. Meanwhile hot maple syrup is being heated over a Coleman stove until it reaches the secret temperature of perfection.
4. A girl in a toque will now ladle a portion of this perfection into a sweet little strip of happiness onto the fresh and lovingly patted and smoothed snow in front of you.
5. Don't get anxious! You must wait for ten seconds so that the maple and snow can exchange phone numbers.
6. Then place the flat wooden green "alright kid, say ahhhh" stick at one end of the sweet little strip of happiness.
7. You will want to rush this process out of sheer excitement of what is to come.
8. DON'T.
9. With patience and care roll the flat wooden green "alright kid, say ahhhh" stick slowly up the sweet little strip of happiness. The maple will follow the stick. Take your time. Something good will happen. It is inevitable.
10. Hooray! The time has come. You are the proud owner of a sweet little maple ball of happiness on a stick.
11. Proceed to slurp loudly and then go and drip sugary goodness all over your good black coat why don't you that you knew better than to wear to the carnival in the first place and now you'll have to dry clean it - or - just slurp loudly. That'll do, too.