The Pancake Chronicles

The Pancake Chronicles: <span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">the weight of grey</span>

The Pancake Chronicles

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

the weight of grey

I woke up two mornings ago feeling lit inside to out. Honey on the window sill. But slow, steady the day flattened me as if shadow could be weighed. I went outside to make sense of it. To pick those places that would redeem my surroundings, choose to look there instead while Ugly yelled threats, taunting behind me. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction but everything, everything within me wanted to turn away from what was small and helpful back towards that scoffing, damp, squelchy Thing. Agree with his despair, admit defeat. Yes, I would say, all of it is terrible. There's no way I can survive. And I did say it and I died a little. Fought to use the camera like a bandage and kept searching for beauty. And it was a fight, no doubt about it. I got beat up good. I made it but I wouldn't say I won. Clutched to these as proof something could, indeed always can be found.

this was a significant day for me






this was a significant day for me


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12 Comments:

Blogger Tara said...

I'm with you sister.

Beautiful pictures deary.

24 October 2007 at 15:02  
Anonymous Captain Cat said...

Hey... just read this and it made me feel so helpless, I wish I could be there to pick you up, sit down in a comfy sofa and have cups of tea and put the world to rights. I'm off to write to you now.

24 October 2007 at 22:21  
Blogger Ace said...

Is it snowing there? It is very dull and dreary and bleak over here too. So, I'm working from home for my room is lit with lamps.

Will take photos after I tidy up later.

Lamps + candles + warm colours. That's the way to go this season.
Also a good cup of chai. Wicked!

25 October 2007 at 04:27  
Blogger Colleen said...

Hello, friends. Thank you. It's snowy and blowy outside and the house is lit all goldenish. It helps.

That and the chai.

25 October 2007 at 18:35  
Blogger emilyruth said...

keep fighting the good fight, dear:)

26 October 2007 at 16:50  
Blogger Kori said...

You know I am LOVING those pictures!!
I have a great idea for ya... go to the sears online and order one of those tropical wall murals and stick it to your wall... maybe even bring in a truck load of sand... paint the other walls yellow, You can have Sunshine and summertime anytime :)

26 October 2007 at 19:18  
Anonymous Cheryl said...

There is so much beauty in those pictures. It's funny how you had to look up to find most of it. Parable?

26 October 2007 at 21:55  
Blogger Colleen said...

Kori - I'm glad you like the pictures. They definitely helped me. And man, that's a fantastic idea! Could I also make little drinks with umbrellas and invite people over weekly for, say, Sunday Luaus? Thank you for the cheery thoughts. Perfect for me. :)

Cheryl - I love how you perceived that and how the more I know you the more you default to Him.

27 October 2007 at 07:14  
Blogger CountryGirl_CityLife said...

those pictures are gorgeous! I love gray winter days.

3 November 2007 at 11:41  
Blogger Lexia said...

What kind of digital camera do you use? I like the color quality of it.

5 November 2007 at 13:20  
Blogger Colleen said...

Hello, Country_City! Thank you very much. I didn't particularly love this gray winter day but in general they have their own flannel loveliness. I'm glad you came by!

And hello, Lexia! My camera is just a Sony, point and shoot, something or other. I don't even know. Yes, I (aka Observant One) have no clue. I'm glad you enjoyed the photos and told me! Please come again. :)

7 November 2007 at 17:34  
Blogger Lexia said...

Thanks. I'm looking into getting a digital camera and I think I'll check out what Sony has to offer. You have a nice blog - I enjoy all of the photographs/artwork.

19 November 2007 at 19:19  

any questions?

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